You met this gorgeous woman. The date went well. Your heart thinks she could be ‘the one’. She has officially occupied your thoughts. You are daydreaming about her. And before you realise, you pick up your phone and text… The exact text that makes her want to run far from you!Blaine Anderson, a matchmaker and dating coach, who has helped hundreds find their ideal partner, has explained about two specific texts that you should never send to the woman you are dating. No, these are not necessarily toxic or perverted, but the wrong move.Interestingly, men often send these texts to their lady love, without knowing that they are wrecking the potential relationship! So what are these texts? Men, take notes!
Text 1: Did you get my message?
You went on the date. You think there’s a spark. It has the potential to turn into something more meaningful. You think she enjoyed the date just as much as you. You even dropped her a message, and there is no response. You wonder whether she has seen the message. So, you type the next – Did you get my text?Yes, it feels innocent. Maybe even logical — you just want to confirm if she saw it. But according to Anderson, this is not something you should send. Just don’t send it! Why? “This immediately puts you in a chasing position,” she explained in a video shared on Instagram.It may sound like a usual follow-up text to you, but it still says something. It gives away your restlessness and anxiety. It tells her that you are impatient, and the silence is killing you. In short, you are desperate. That’s how she reads it.Now, do we want it? No, absolutely not. Because you are not chasing anyone. Let her respond. If she is interested, she will reply, and that too, in her own time. If not, your follow-up message is going to change nothing about it! Patience is key here.
Text 2: When can I see you?
Now this one may sound odd, because it comes from a good place. After your first date, both of you want to meet. The problem is genuine, but how you are asking is not! The problem is the phrasing.When you ask her that question, you are handing over the decision-making process to her. Like you are waiting to fit into her schedule. Healthy and equal relationships don’t work that way. “When can I see you? This text sounds needy. Instead, be clear and decisive,” the dating coach said.A simple paraphrasing can do the job. Instead of being vague, propose something solid. Ask, “Are you free Thursday? Let’s grab dinner.” That’s it. This way, you are sharing the load of decision-making. You are offering a plan. You just made things easy for her. There is a difference between a man who pursues with direction and one who hovers waiting for an invitation!Anderson, who has helped hundreds of men find their ideal partner, does know a thing or two about modern dating. Her suggestions seem practical and solid. But by avoiding these two text messages, you are not being cold or playing games; you are just embracing the flow of things. You are acknowledging the time your potential partner wants to take, and also offering help to make things smooth. You are being responsible, without being needy! And everyone likes a man with a plan.