For many teenagers, school is more than a place to attend classes. It is where they build friendships, discover who they are and begin to understand where they belong. But when bullying enters that space, it can affect much more than a child’s experience of school. It can shake their confidence, affect their mental health and leave them feeling isolated, even when they are surrounded by people.For 17-year-old Aanya Mukherjee from California, this was not just a possibility. It was something she experienced herself. What makes her story particularly relevant for parents is what she chose to do afterwards: she started working towards making mental health support more accessible to other teenagers, while ensuring young people have a voice in conversations about their well-being.
28 Sept 2026 | 08:18
Does your teenager tell you about their friends, or do you often have to ask? How much do you know about their social life?
In an interview with People, Aanya recalled how alone she felt during the period when she was being bullied. “I felt very isolated when it happened to me. I didn’t think I would make any friends and I didn’t think it would ever end,” she said. “But it did.”Her experience offers parents an important reminder: children may not always tell adults what they are going through, and the effects of bullying may reach far beyond what is immediately visible.
When bullying begins to affect a child’s sense of self
According to People, Aanya faced rumours, false stories about her and her family, harassment and, at times, stalking during her early high school years. She said the experience affected her confidence, mental health and academic performance.Her family sought help from the private school she initially attended near their home in San Jose, but Aanya said they were disappointed with the response. She eventually moved to Pinewood School in Los Altos, where she is now a student.Her experience highlights an important distinction for parents: bullying is not always a physical confrontation that teachers or parents can easily see. It can also take the form of social exclusion, rumours, repeated humiliation and harassment through digital platforms.A child who is being targeted may become reluctant to attend school, withdraw from friends or appear unusually anxious. Some children may become irritable, struggle to concentrate or show changes in their academic performance. None of these signs automatically means bullying is taking place, but a noticeable change in behaviour is worth exploring with care.For parents, the first step is not necessarily to find an immediate solution. It is to make it easier for a child to speak honestly about what is happening.
Aanya Mukherjee turned her experience of bullying into an initiative to support other teenagers.
Why listening matters more than parents may realise
When children share a difficult experience, adults may instinctively try to fix it. They might tell them to ignore the other children, stand up for themselves or focus on their studies. Although such responses may come from a place of concern, they can leave a child feeling that the seriousness of their experience has not been understood.Aanya’s story highlights the importance of taking a young person’s account seriously. She said her experience made her more interested in how schools address bullying and student well-being, particularly because the support she had sought had not worked in her favour.A turning point came when a mental health counsellor encouraged her to “be a leader in your own life”. That advice helped her move towards taking an active role in improving support for other teenagers.This does not mean a child should be expected to solve bullying independently. Rather, parents can help them regain a sense of agency while making it clear that adults are responsible for helping keep them safe.A useful starting point is to listen without interrupting, ask what happened and acknowledge how the child feels. Parents can then work with the school to understand the situation and identify practical steps to prevent further harassment. If bullying is affecting a child’s emotional well-being, professional support may also be appropriate.
Turning a painful experience into support for other teens
Aanya began working with groups of educators, parents and mental health professionals to explore ways to help teenagers facing similar challenges. However, she noticed something missing from many discussions about young people’s mental health: young people themselves.“It was strange that adults were having all these conversations about what teenagers needed, but teenagers themselves weren’t necessarily being included,” she told People.That observation eventually led her to start Buy Yourself Flowers, a teen-led nonprofit focused on mental health awareness and involving young people in the conversation about their well-being.One of its initiatives is the distribution of “bloom boxes”, small mental health toolkits containing items such as herbal teas, candles, affirmations, mini journals, face masks and a list of support resources. Aanya said the organisation had distributed around 500 boxes to schools in the area. She also helps organise workshops led by teenagers and has started a podcast.The idea is not that a box of comforting items can resolve bullying or replace professional help. Instead, the initiative offers one way to open up conversations about mental health and remind young people that support is available.Aanya believes peer-led workshops can help teenagers connect through shared experiences. Reflecting on her own isolation, she told People: “It sounds cliche, but it brings home that you’re not alone.”Her initiative also illustrates why teenagers should be included in conversations about their own needs. Parents and teachers may have the experience to guide them, but listening to young people can help adults better understand the pressures they face, particularly online.
What parents can learn from Aanya’s experience
One of the most important lessons is that bullying should not be dismissed as a normal part of growing up. Telling children that everyone goes through it may unintentionally suggest that they have to endure it without asking for help.Parents can begin by creating regular opportunities for honest conversations, rather than waiting until a problem becomes overwhelming. Asking open questions about friendships, school and online interactions can make it easier for children to share concerns in their own time.It is also important to take cyberbullying seriously. Aanya told People that social media can make harassment difficult to escape because rumours and private conversations can spread quickly. She advises teenagers to report cyberbullying to school administrators early rather than simply hoping it will stop.Parents can help by keeping records of threatening or harassing messages, reporting incidents through the appropriate school or platform channels and avoiding responses that might expose the child to further humiliation. Schools should be involved when the behaviour involves students or affects a child’s safety and ability to learn.Above all, children need to know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Parents do not have to possess all the answers; they need to show that they are willing to listen, take action and stay alongside their child as they work through the situation.Aanya’s experience is a reminder that recovery does not happen simply because a child changes schools or learns to ignore hurtful comments. Feeling safe, rebuilding confidence and finding supportive relationships can take time.As she reflected on her own experience, she offered a message to other teenagers: “It’s possible to move on. At the end of the day, you are in charge of your own life.”For parents, the lesson is to help children believe that they are not defined by how others treat them – and to ensure they do not have to face bullying alone.