Ayesha Kapur is stepping back into Hindi cinema almost 20 years after she debuted as young Michelle in Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s ‘Black’. While her return comes with a new project and a different phase of her life, the road back to Hindi films was not as straightforward as she had once expected.After making an impact as a child actor in ‘Black’ and later appearing in Piyush Jha’s ‘Sikandar’ in 2009, Kapur had been signed by Yash Raj Films. She underwent training in acting, Hindi and dance as she prepared to transition from child roles into adult characters. She was also attached to Shekhar Kapur’s ‘Paani’, which was to feature Sushant Singh Rajput, but the project eventually did not materialise.Reflecting on that phase in an exclusive conversation with Variety India, she says the uncertainty surrounding the film left her unsure about what her future in acting would look like.“At one point, I was signed with YRF and went through extensive training in acting, Hindi and dance. When ‘Paani,’ a film I was supposed to do, didn’t happen, I think I was left in a slightly uncertain space about what acting was going to look like for me,” Kapur shared with Variety India.
Pressure around an adult acting debut
The actor was at a significant crossroads at the time. Having already gained recognition at a young age, she was expected to make a more formal transition into mainstream Hindi cinema. With that came several opinions about the direction her career should take.“There was a lot of advice and a lot of noise around me about what I should do next, what I shouldn’t do, and what the ‘right’ way to return as an actor was. I mostly listened to my heart, but there were certainly periods when it became confusing, especially because there was so much emphasis on the idea of being formally ‘launched’ as an adult actor.”Rather than immediately pursuing another project, she also had an important personal decision to make. Her family wanted her to return to college and finish her education, and she ultimately chose to prioritise that.“There was pressure from my family to return to college and complete my degree, which ultimately became something I chose to prioritize,” she says.
Why she never considered herself away from acting
Her decision to focus on education contributed to a prolonged absence from Hindi cinema, but Kapur says the break should not be interpreted as a decision to leave acting behind.“I think there’s often an assumption that if you’re not constantly visible within the industry, you’ve somehow stepped away from it. In Mumbai especially, there can be a certain pressure to always be around, networking, meeting people, making sure everyone knows you’re available and still part of that world,” she says.She adds, “I’ve never been particularly good at positioning myself. I’m ready to act and I love the work, but I’ve also lived a full life outside of Mumbai and the industry. Sometimes it feels as though people need to physically see you all the time in order to remember that you’re still interested in acting.”
Projects that did not happen shaped the journey
For the actor, there was no single incident responsible for the gap in her Hindi film career. Instead, several circumstances, including projects falling through and her decision to complete her education, contributed to the long pause.“I don’t think there was ever one big ‘reason’ for my absence that I felt I needed to explain. There were projects that didn’t materialize, periods when education or other parts of my life needed to take priority, and perhaps I wasn’t always putting myself in the rooms where people expected an actor to be. But I never felt that I had closed the door on Hindi cinema. The desire to act was always there.”That experience has also shaped the kind of work she wants to pursue now. Kapur says she is not looking to take up projects merely to maintain visibility in the industry.